What’s left of the country boy?
The changing face of country music masculinity
While the slow strumming of Brad Paisely’s “I’m Still a Guy” (2007) has a gentle down-home feel to it, the lyrics give the impression of a man fighting the world. Yeah, with all of these men linin' up to get neutered / It's hip now to be feminized / But I don't highlight my hair, I've still got a pair / Yeah, honey, I'm still a guy. The song also rings like a warning, as if Brad’s girlfriend is going to thread his eyebrows while he sleeps and he wants her to know he’s prepared to be difficult. I didn’t expect to find a song that so explicitly addresses the crisis of country/rural masculinity that the genre seems to have been experiencing for some time (Bo Burnham’s “Country Song” puts a pretty fine point on the common critiques of modern “stadium” pop country).
A sociology researcher from Mississippi State has made the observation that as fewer men are guaranteed the position of family breadwinner, popular male-oriented country music has switched some of its focus from griping with the boss, providing for the family, etc. to the pursuit of women. Paisely’s 2007 song comes at an inflection point. The country is changing: Obama is running for president, Lean In and the height of the powerful corporate “have it all” girlboss is only six years away. “I’m Still a Guy” makes no mention of certain age-old family values tropes (no children are mentioned in the song, nor marriage, nor economic security). Brad is not building a house or plowing the land. The most notable threat he’s protecting his lady from is another guy “copping a feel” (YouTube commenter @andrewjeffries8721 had this insight to offer below the song: “Heavenly Father may my wife never be too old to cop a feel as she walks by me!!” In spite of myself, I find this romantic).
On some level, I feel for Brad here as he complains about how having oiled, manicured hands prevents him from gripping a tackle box. As the popularity of “Fight Club” demonstrates, human beings pretty much universally abhor the feeling of meaning draining from their lives as they are ripped away from the soil and water and made to sit at a desk for eight hours a day trying to figure out how to end their emails (“best” or “thank you”?). But “I’m Still a Guy” will never quite be a classic, except in the eyes of a handful of YouTube commenters (not @andrewjeffries8721) who claim “This song is more relevant than ever!!!” It sounds a little whiny, and it just doesn’t have a timeless message with staying power.
Fast-forward 17 years, and Brad Paisely (a West Virginia native) is up to something different. In his song “Son of the Mountains” (the music video for which features my little city’s fire chief, Jan!), there’s a verse that reads “Hell, I don’t care who you marry, what you brew or what you grow.” I was genuinely shocked to see the music video linger on two visibly queer people during this line. Luke Bryan similarly has a line in “Most People are Good” that’s clearly a nod to marriage equality: “I believe you love who you love.” There’s a very interesting (and, I think, ultimately good) attempt here to broaden the traditional rural/country interest in freedom to explicitly include civil rights, especially gay rights. It’s not like Brad and Luke and their songwriting teams were the first people to make this connection (many Appalachians have a grandmother who’s maintained since the dawn of time that love is love and doesn’t see “what the big deal is” about gay marriage). But this reframe is one I’m seeing more and more recently. You can buy a t-shirt at one of the little knick-knack gift shops around my town that has a lumberjack and his buff boyfriend kissing along with the slogan “mountaineers are always free” (West Virginia’s state motto).
Back to masculinity specifically. I was at a country/folk festival a few weeks ago watching Tyler Childers play a headliner set (“Tyler,” as Appalachians casually refer to him, is a folk/gospel/country musician from eastern Kentucky). During “Lady May,” arguably his most touching love song, the camera that had previously been trained on the band (including his keyboardist, who was sporting a camo “Harris/Walz” hat) was turned on couples in the audience, a sort of kiss cam. Men and women were holding each other and swaying to the music, tears in their eyes. It was truly a sight to make you a little misty. By contrast, Tyler’s earlier music from his younger (and less sober) days has a playboy streak. From “Whitehouse Road:” I got women up and down this creek / And they keep me going and my engine clean / Run me ragged but I don't fret / 'Cause there ain't been one slow me down none yet. I’m not necessarily throwing my hands up in offense at this song, but you can recognize some rather tired tropes here: he’s “got” women, he drives them crazy, they are essentially servicing him like a car, but they won’t ever be able to tie him down, no matter how much they might want to. Now look at “Lady May,” so-named for Tyler’s wife, fellow singer-songwriter Senora May. Now, I ain't the toughest hickory / That your ax has ever felled / But I'm a hickory just as well / I'm a hickory all the same / I came crashin' through the forest / As you cut my roots away / And I fell a good long ways / For my lovely Lady May.
This is a dramatic change in tone. He’s admitting he’s not the toughest or most impressive man out there (that’s what I take from the hickory analogy) and says she “cut his roots away.” In other words, she took him outside of his comfort zone and challenged him (he mentioned during the set that her work took them away from Kentucky to West Virginia). In this song and on Tyler’s “In Your Love,” there’s an emphasis on being of use to his partner (she cuts him with her ax or uses him as a chisel or he’s working a field for her). But the bravado of the “I will kill a bear for you” variety is gone. He’s not swinging on other men or freaking out about holding a purse (à la “I’m Still a Guy”).
Frankly, it’s like he’s offering himself in sacrifice. I’m not always crazy about this narrative either – I also believe that there is a danger to putting women on a pedestal as the “better angel” of your nature or as saintly mother/Madonna whom you can never be worthy of. For the most part, though, “In Your Love” doesn’t come across this way, partly because the music video features two gay coal miners. It’s not really about gender (there are no female pronouns in the song), it’s more about the singer/narrator being willing to work to maintain a strong relationship and a happy home. I imagine the song could make a great duet, with both people singing this offering to one another. If Joan Didion was slouching towards Bethlehem, is Tyler Childers slouching towards gender equality? While there was a lot of hullaballoo about the music video from angry fans (who apparently hadn’t noticed Tyler’s previous screeds against police brutality, his political music, etc.), Tyler has said the reception was overwhelmingly positive. And damn if the crowd at his show wasn’t the biggest I saw for any artist that weekend.
For young men looking for a new way to conceptualize manhood, what does self-sacrifice (as Tyler puts it, “I will work for you”) mean in an age where men are not necessarily doing manual labor and are not necessarily the breadwinners? What does protecting your loved ones mean if you’re not doing it with a rifle? The way I see it, life is hard even if you’re not pulling a plow with a team of mules. There are worse things you will have to defend your partner from than a man at a bar trying to cop a feel: depression, job loss, or a miscarriage, for instance. I’d just as soon take a man who can harvest a row of potatoes as a man who can meal-plan or who goes to therapy to tend to himself. There are many ways to make safe places in this world for your friends, families, and partners. And most of them don’t involve keeping a gun in your jacked-up truck.
I haven’t been listening closely to country music for quite awhile. I got sick of the same dopey “let’s get drunk and go hang out in our pickup truck “ songs and the dearth of really good female country voices !!!
Apparently some things are changing! Maybe I’ll listen more carefully to the women and see if their perspective and experience is also changing?!
Thoughtful, well written article, as usual, Hannah!!
Gorgeous work! Sardor and I went to a Zach Bryan show earlier this year and I think we witnessed something similar to what you saw at the Tyler Childers set. I see how the traditional expectation of masculinity in country music as being a tough-shelled gunslinger that likes to drink and works the farm may feel less relevant or correct in current times. As themes like gratitude, devotion, and integrity become more central to country music's depictions of masculinity, I think this newer wave will ring truer for many male-identifying listeners. Really excited to see how these themes continue taking form in country music. And likewise, looking forward to future music journalism from you (highly encouraged)!